tips & advice

Needing A Bit Of Self Improvement? Try Gratitude

Kathy Self Love be grateful, being grateful, change, experiences, Inspirational, living in Spain, tips & advice

Since my arrival almost five years ago, I have had a lot of time for reflection. As each day with its cultural, linguistic challenges and questions, of ‘Where do I Belong?’, I’m able to remain grounded and at peace in the practice of remembering Gratitude.

But you can be sure that even knowing the practice of gratitude holds for me; I still have to be reminded.

Three Surprising Ways Having a Practice Of Gratitude Can Have An Effect On You.

1) Reduce Stress, particularly, self-imposed-stress:
Isn’t most stress self-perceived? Yes… It is. And in most cases, it is because you don’t feel you are enough or that you lack in some way. You are not smart enough, talented enough, lack the patience, in time. The list can go on. I can step out of thing those things when I go back to a mindful state or an Attitude For Gratitude. I find in that space I have time to think.

2) Stay In Real Time. Gratitude is a way for you to stay TRULY ENGAGED… IN THE MOMENT. It is hard to feel gratitude and judgment of yourself and others at the same time. As a result, you’re more relaxed and able to engage effectively in what you are doing.
3) It helps you to define what you care about. Why are you grateful? What makes you feel grateful? Have you thought about it lately? You can be general in your gratitude to help you develop the habit, but the genuine helpfulness of this practice and the real healing comes from (I believe) the deep knowing of why you are grateful. Knowing what you are thankful for helps you in defining your dreams and desires. Being specific helps you to be in touch with what makes you unique.

For Example:
Knowing the specific things you are grateful for, helps you to relate more deeply to them. Opening up pathways to let them in; so you can get acquainted with them.

Many years before I left for Spain I was in a terrible relationship. For three years I kept breaking it off and going back. My self-esteem was so low that I could only think of myself with this dark cloud attached. Almost one year later I started to rethink of this experience while only focusing on the ‘good.’ That I was grateful for was knowing I could falling deeply in love and that I was ready to finding love.

What I discovered and was grateful for might not have been what you found, but it was what I saw in me without the blame and disgust to cover it up. All I know is that what I found served me very well in moving me on, allowing me to forgive myself and later to find love.

Ok Now Let’s Get Practical. How to Start to Change Your Attitude for Gratitude.

Here are five tips I used to start my practice:

1- Spend a couple of minutes every morning writing down a few things you are thankful for that day. Do this before reading email, viewing the news or any other distracting habit you have in the morning.

2- If it is a weekend, maybe a Sunday. Try devoting a full morning or afternoon to composing a more detailed gratitude list. (Idea: think both about what you are grateful for and also how you can show that appreciation to add dimension and to spread the LOVE!)

3- Smile. Make it a habit to be more encouraging in every encounter ( using less negative sharing). In this way, you can start to practice the effects of living and spreading gratitude. The Kevin Costner’s, Field of Dreams Effect “Build it, and they will come.”

4- Try Focusing On An Area That Needs Attention In Your Life.
Example, Finances, get your finances in order and look at them as “Grateful For Being Enough.” Instead of seeing them through the lenses of less than what you need, see what happens when you look at them with a positive, open mind. Maybe you will see more easily how they can be aligned with your values. Be grateful for the money you have.

5-Do Something Fun. In the spirit and lightness that you feel while reveling in your gratitude, take a trip or do somewhere that you’ve done before. See how your experience changes with this open hearted, open mind, real presences of gratitude.

You might be asking, do I still doing this practice? Must gratefulness come easy living in a beautiful place like Spain or Europe? The place is different, but it is still a journey of discovery for me. It will never stop. The more I do and change the more I want to do and change. It makes me feel alive.

SO… How about you? Tell me how you stay grateful. What works for you and how has it affected your outlook on life?

An Interview: Living In Madrid Spain

Kathy Living in Spain, NEXT CHAPTERS, Travel experiences, interview, living in Spain, Madrid, tips & advice

Many People have asked me what it is like Living in Spain, Madrid Spain. What is the life like here? Here is an interview from 2014. That can give a feel of the day-to-day experience of life here. Hope you enjoy. Feel free to leave a comment or question and I will get back to you as soon as I can. All the Best!

About you,

Q: Where are you originally from?

A: I was born on the eastern coast of the United States and spent most of my life living and running my business in Atlanta, Georgia.

Q: Where are you living now?

A: Now I live in Madrid, Spain.

Q: Have you visited or lived any other country?

A: The only other country I lived in was Santiago De Chile for about a year. Other countries I have visited are Ireland, Great Britain, Italy, France, Morocco, Turkey, India, Mexico, Australia, and Canada.

Q: How long have you lived in Madrid?

A: I have lived in Madrid for about four and a half years. I have been residing in Spain for close to 6 years.

Q: Did you move with a spouse/ children?

A: No, just myself, two suitcases and a large carry-on. Hahahah! I have a lot more now.

Q: Why did you move to Spain?

A: I was looking to create a new lifestyle. My business was changing, my values were changing, so I decided to wind things down, reduce my living expenses, which took about two years and moved to Spain.

I have always loved Spain. The culture, the architecture, and the history. Came on a holiday with a friend and cried with I had to leave. I think I lost my heart here.

The crazy thing is that I moved here without knowing Spanish or any real understanding of day to day life in Spain. I thought to learn the language and the culture would be my new job. Having had a job that occupied my time 45 to 50 hours a week. I figured I had time in my day.

Honestly, It was scary, hard, lonely, but beautiful, heart-opening all that the same time, those first nine months.

I would do it all again but with a better background of the language 🙂

About Madrid
Q: What do you enjoy most about Madrid, how’s the quality of life?

A: What I love most about Madrid is that it is a large city. It feels like other European cities with the mixing of people from different cultures, which I love. It has interesting shopping, a dynamic nightlife, world-class music, art, and museums.

Being from a western culture the energy of Madrid feels recognizable as a place to do business and build a life. They have excellent transportation systems. By taking the buses or metro, you can easily get from one place to another. Now that I have a feel for the city, I rarely get lost.

As far as the quality of life, as I mentioned, I’ve got all the conveniences of a big city, shopping, and night-life mixed with a blend of small town traditions, old neighborhoods, parks, and markets.

I don’t have a car, so I walk everywhere. Many times this means carrying more than I can handle, like my groceries, and dry cleaning which is a challenge.

The change in my lifestyle was dramatic at first. I have had to slow down and have more patience.

In 2008 the crash, “The Crises” as they say here, is still present in the larger than an average number of unemployed.

It has been difficult as in nearly every other country. What I notice here are the people have this sense it-will-eventually-work-out. I don’t know if that comes from their long history of seeing change. It seems to shape what they care about. They care about the things they can control and the ones they love; the things close to them.

The things they hold most dear to them are their families and friends. Anything that can create harm to them, on a basic level, community level they band together and support each other. On the national level, lack of healthcare, education cuts, or cuts in services will cause them to go to the streets and let their feeling be known.

Q: Any negatives? What do you miss most about home?

A: There are always negatives no matter where you live. If you read or become a part of any community, you learn what doesn’t function or what is unfair. It is like any other country.

What helps is not to compare the countries I have lived in. Remembering they are all just different.

What I miss, besides my family, and some old friends, I would have to say some of the big holidays in the States. Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Fourth of July. They have always been my favorites.

I make sure I budget into my yearly budget a trip home to visit family and friends, and that makes a big difference.

Spain has so many festivals and holidays. Little by little I am learning about them and the areas in Spain that hosts’ them. A few I have visited, and I already have a few favorite.

Q: Is Madrid safe?

A: Like any city, there are certain parts that I will not go alone especially depending on the time of the day.

Madrid is a safe city. But as in any large city, you should always be aware of your surroundings no matter where you are.

As a woman, I can safely walk in the city center during the day and evening and not have to worry about being in any danger.

About living in Madrid, Spain

Q: Which are the best places/suburbs to live in Madrid as an expat?

A: I think the neighborhoods near the city center are always better to start when moving to another country. It is true the center has more tourists and a bit more expensive but I found it was easy to live and understand that area being a foreigner. As much as I love the authentic culture of Spain, it is nice every once in a while, to feel at home with the other foreigners around you.

Then get to know the city and the neighborhood, barrio that speaks to you.

Q: How do you rate the standard of accommodation in Spain?

A: To visit Spain the accommodations are many, and plenty of options. I have found many 3 star hotels (a rating I would never consider in the US and other countries) to be a great value. Less modernized and the beds could be a little hard but spotless. Particularly the case in towns and smaller cities outside the larger ones the 3 star are the best value.

Of course, you should always look at the reviews of the hotel to get a truer picture.

Q: What’s the cost of living in Spain compared to home? What is cheap or expensive in particular?

A: Living in Spain is definitely much less costly than my lifestyle was in Atlanta, Georga. Of course, I do not own anything in Madrid. Even with the loss I take on the dollar, I find my expense much less, and my quality of my life is much more in a different way.

For Example, An average apartment in the city can cost you 200,000-500,000 euros. The size might be 80 sq. Meters, two bedrooms, one bathroom, hallway, and a kitchen, dining/living room on the small end. The higher the floor, with an exterior view, pool, parking and an elevator it will be more expensive. Most Spanish live in spaces like these. What we might consider an apartment, not a free standing home.
– I don’t need a car.
– Healthcare is less expensive here than in the US.
– I find the fruits and vegetables are less expensive here. The Spanish seem to eat what’s in the season and what’s grown in Spain. Less expense in processing and transporting.

When I add all those saving up it makes living here a real value.

Q: What are the locals like; do you mix mainly with other expats?

A: I have many new friends; many are from the Expat community in Madrid, others are local Spanish and some from my boyfriend.

The internet is helpful with locating others living in different countries to connect.

All my new friends are like minded. We cherish living an abundant, full life contributing where we can with open minds. It is interesting how living your life, the one you dreamt of attracts others doing the same.

Q: Was it easy meeting people and making friends in Spain?

A: It was easy to make expat friends. It’s difficult making Spanish friends, as my Spanish is still a work in progress. I know it will come 🙂

My First Experience With Healthcare In Spain

Kathy Living in Spain, Travel experiences, Madrid, Spain, tips & advice, Traveling

Woman's face covered with bandages

TheHealthcare System in Spain.

So first it started with I have been having nightmares about going to the dentist in Spain. Just the dentist!

Before I left the U.S., I went to all my doctors and then some. My plan was to get a clean bill of health and not see a doctor for a year. By then (I hoped), I would have enough knowledge of the language to get through an appointment.

This dental appoint would be the first time I would dip my toe into the healthcare system. It was just a teeth cleaning. No big deal… right?

The dentist’s office, I waited in was a small modern “Ikea-like” waiting room. It was clean, all white and straightforward. The receptionist worked the front desk and also assisted the young, very attractive female dentist with a beautiful smile. She asked me to fill out the single-sided medical form… good start.

As this was my first time navigating the “health-care system,” in Spain. I had purchased a one size fits all health insurance plan from a Spanish company. Typically unneeded by the Spanish as healthcare is one or their rights being a citizen, but expats tend to be covered as well. Regardless I purchased a plan, something I felt I should have being American, and not being Spanish.

With my card in hand, I had a Spanish friend join me to show me the ropes. He helped me understand the few questions on the form, and I handed it back.

I began to SWEAT.

I had decided in advance that I was not going to let my friend go back into the examination room with me. “If I am going to live in this country, I need to do this on my own,” I said to myself, “After all, this is just a cleaning.”

Now I am really SWEATING.

They called me back to the exam room. Neither the dentist nor the assistant spoke English, so I did my best Spanish… smiled, and tried to make a connection. I sent a telepathic message of “Be Gentle!” We agreed that one finger extended meant “be careful“ and if my hand went up suddenly, she would stop.

All was okay… STILL SWEATING.

I raised my hand early on to test our agreement. We started again. The sound of the drill-polisher/plaque remover thing was freaking me out. I realized I did not trust her.

I didn’t think she’d recognize the two beautiful, expensive front teeth or the costly white fillings redo’s I had in my mouth expertly installed by a Dental Cosmetic Surgeon in the U.S.

WHAT was going on? WHAT was in my mind?
…This is a simple procedure.

What kind of health-care system did I think the government of Spain would allow it’s citizens? What ran through my mind was that the health-care in the United States was far superior. Not just far superior, but health-care anywhere else would be DANGEROUS! That was the message I and had internalized.

In the United States, we watch movies in which foreigners have bad teeth, and we think this is humorous. Deducing there must be a lack of knowledge or expertise.

Why was I assuming that dentists here would neglect their patients? Was it lack of money, the motivator for anyone to do a good job? Or was it the of lack time in what we as American’s believe is what happens in a Social System of care? Maybe the form I filled out was not long enough and couldn’t be comprehensive enough. Maybe she is not good because I did not have to wait.

Why did I think that dentists in Spain do not have the education that has been available to the dental profession for the last 50 years? After all, it was just a cleaning.

Maybe their relaxed attitudes on physical appearance and their reluctance to pay for or be in debt over expensive cosmetic dentistry is a result of a population’s lack of white, sculpted teeth.

Perhaps this is not entirely a health care issue.

As I ponder this… I realized I was basing my perception of the enter medical industry in Spain on what I was told about other healthcare than that of the United States. Why as Americans we should accept no-change and continue to pay its high costs.

Or maybe I’m creating fear of the entire Spanish system because of my inability to communicate with the provider and know that she is competent and has my best interest at heart? What do you think? Maybe a little or a lot of both.

-//-

Anyway, Back to The End of the Dentist Story: The young dentist tried her best with the difficult client, ME! The care and compassion she had were amazing. She had to stop and bring back my Spanish friend to tell me what she was doing. She communicated all the dental history (as she saw it in my mouth) with him (Oh, Joy!) and her recommendations. Her explanations were very professional, conservative and complete – just as any dentist in the U.S. would be, except she didn’t mention flossing. Perhaps she knows something I don’t know about that particular subject.

So what is the best test of a safe/good health-care system? What do you think?

Tiny Factoids Floating Around on the Internet:
Source: World Health Organization’s
Rankings of Countries’ Health-care Systems For Year 2000 (Interesting this is all I could find, even in 2016.).

Newer results I was unable to find due to the complexities that now exist. If you find them, please pass along 🙂

Best to Worst Systems:
Spain – 7th
Germany – 25th
The United States – 37th

Life Expectancy in Countries
Best to Worst:
Japan – 1st Average M/F age of 74.5
Spain – 5th Average M/F age of 72.5
The United States – 24th Average M/F age of 70.0