Guest Post: The Daunting Idea Of Change
I’m sure that a majority of people reading this post will have thought about changing their lives at one stage. And perhaps that stage has lasted longer than expected, a few months, years, or what feels like a constant thought in the back of your mind?Â
I have a long-time-big-time love of Spain, trying to sneak a visit whenever I made the near 40 hour trip from Australia to Europe since I was in my early 20’s. I finally committed to spending two months here last year, to be immersed in the culture and learn the language. The primary motivator was opportunity. After a long-term relationship break-up, and reaching a point in my career where I was looking for a shift, I found the time to dip a toe in the water (of a very big ocean!).
In short, I loved it, discovered a visa I could apply for, and made a personal commitment to change. I returned to Australia to make arrangements and now, for the period of my visa and any future extensions I may apply for, I live in Sevilla, Spain.
Change is daunting. Logistically and emotionally packing up my life, saying (a temporary?) farewell to the people I loved, and things that made sense in my day, these were some of the most difficult decisions I’ve had to make and then the hardest things to actually do. Â
I’d already left a 10 year relationship, why was I leaving everything else that was not only my safety net but provided a reflection of myself that I understood? Am I a complete stark, raving lunatic?!
We all need inspiration. While considering this change, I read an interview with the talented and thoughtful Pia Jane Bijkerk*, an Australian blogger who moved to Amsterdam to live, via Paris (collecting her now partner along the way). She believes that we all have a special dream that sits on a shelf, like a shiny, prized object, at a safe distance where we can keep it pristine and free from the dirty fingerprints of reality. Â The brave few convert this dream into their day-to-day, risking scratches and bumps in its perfection, but in turn making space on the shelf again.
Fear is normal. Do still I wonder what I’m doing here when I can’t conduct a simple conversation with a bank clerk or the guy who sells fruit in my local corner store? (can you hear my audible groan?) Of course. Â
What does my future hold? I know that in 2012 I will be living in Sevilla studying. Do I worry about finding work once I finish or the impact on my career if I return to Australia after time-out of my industry? Do I consider how I would feel leaving Sevilla, or reconnecting with my pre-Spanish life at home? Of course.
But I have to trust my intuition, my ability to make a change, perseverance in exploring and enjoying a change that is, no doubt, having a profound influence on my future, my understanding of myself and what I want from life.
There is a quote from Tim Burton that may resonate with you: ‘I always felt like a foreigner from the beginning of life so when I actually became one, I felt more at home’**. Â
(Guest Post by Gina Bowman, an Australian currently living the Madrid Lifestyle.)
Quotes
*Pia Jane Bijkerk interview in Dumbo Feather: http://dumbofeather.com/
** Tim Burton, taken from a blog by Azahar Sevilla http://azahar-sevilla.com/blog/about-2/ , an interesting woman who moved from Canada to Spain 20 years ago and writes several blogs about Sevilla where she is based. Â
A Random Collection of Inspiration:
An Intelligent Life, A Practical Guide to Relationships, Intimacy and Self-Esteem, Julian Short
Azahar Sevilla: http://azahar-sevilla.com/blog/about-2/
Dumbo Feather: http://dumbofeather.com/
Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert (OK, I have some personal reservations about recommending this book, but in section 3 India, Thirty-Six Tales about the Pursuit of Devotion Gilbert goes through a fascinating personal journey imparting her learnings about eastern religion
Pia Jane Bijkerk: Â
http://blog.piajanebijkerk.com/WordPress/2010/01/13/dumbo-feather-pass-it-on-issue-22/
Road Testing Happiness, How to be Happier (No Matter What), Sophie Scott
The Heart That Wanders, Pia Jane Bijkerk Â
The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell Â
Travels, Collected Writings, 1950-93, Paul Bowles