living in another country

Moving to Spain has been the most transforming, exciting, lonely, challenging, fearful experience I have EVER HAD… to date!

And I would recommend it to anyone who is looking to Re-Boot and add a Spark back into their lives!

But before you go there are a few things you should probably ask yourself.

For Example… Let’s say all is in order and you are about to get on the plane.

Have you thought about what you can and can’t live with? Not STUFF I mean, the STUFF that drives you crazy?

– Restaurants restrooms without toilet tissue.

– A neighbor’s laundry hanging outside your window every day on their balcony.

– Do owners who let their dogs running loose on the streets or in parks bother you?  Would you get enraged every time you see dog poo on the ground because you once stepped in fresh poo?

– Does your blood pressure rise when you don’t understand the street names and end up walking or driving in circles for hours?

Two of the biggest things I learned I needed to do while living in Spain was to RELAX AND LEARN A NEW FLOW.  If you can’t live with things not being the way you think they should be, you may not enjoy living in another culture for long. Embracing differences and learning to slow down have been the backbone to my successful transition into my new life in Spain.

Embracing differences and learning to slow down have been a large part of the success I have had in transitioning into my new life in Spain.

Here is a Quick and Easy List of the 7 Things I found helpful when transitioning into a New Culture and a New Country.

1) Do You Embrace All Types of Change?

The amount of change you can tolerate should be considered when selecting a country.

For example, what are the differences in your lifestyle and the lifestyle in China. It could be huge!  If you can’t tolerate big differences you may want to live abroad in a country with fewer differences like England, Canada, Australia for example.  It also may be a better fit if you do not want to throw in tackling a new language.

From my experience, when I got to Spain the things I knew about this culture were only a fraction of what I would discover.

I chose Spain because the differences were something I found curious and enchanting. BUT I had no idea how challenging–the food, food shopping, speaking the language or even physically living in the small space of a piso ( apartment) would be.

It would take me 5 hours or more to find my way to the grocery store, translate the labels, sometimes negotiate what I was buying and find my way home.

BUT, when it was done the sense of accomplishment I had making my dinner with the things I bought and later sleeping like a baby after walking home and carrying my food up three flights of stairs was incredible.

The simple slow pleasures of taking my time solving one of my primary needs and tasting the food I made in a foreign country.  HEAVEN TO ME!

2)Can You Relax When Things don’t go as Expected?

Are you someone who doesn’t like to be surprised?

Do you always like to know what you are doing and where you are going?

It helps if you don’t measure things the way you understand them from your country of origin. You can change that feeling of judgment and anger by just by remembering … You’re not in your country, there are lots of ways to live so remember to enjoy what’s around you.

Often I would get off at the wrong stop because the signs didn’t make sense to me.

A visiting friend and I had to hire an expensive taxi because we were late for the final train of the day.

It was a Friday and the trains stop at midday. There was no sign with the train hours because the logic of the short Friday hours made PERFECT sense to the locals.

Yes, we were mad. Then we had a glass of wine and a laugh.

{A HIGH note to the story… When my friend and I were stuck without the train, we discovered a beautiful cafe that cost us half as much as the restaurant we were going to. Afterward, we sat outside enjoying the sun waiting for the taxi and we were serenaded by an orchestra practicing nearby! Heaven?  I think so.}

Stories like this, go on and on. So often I think: ‘what’s next that will surprise and delight me’?

3) Enjoy Being Alone?

When you first get to a new place, it can take time to become part of the community.

Some people say it takes six months. I still feel like an outsider after five years. Mostly because of my own reasons.

I love my own company. If you are your own best company, you will be ok if it takes you awhile to make friends!

One activity that I found useful in my lonely times was my practice of Yoga.

Yoga has also been a great comfort to me when I have felt overwhelmed, tired and confused living in another country. It was my first friend in Spain.

Having any practice of self-centering time is a good habit to have when you live abroad. Journaling, reading playing an instrument. Can help you reconnect with yourself when you feel overwhelmed by all the new influences.

4) Do You Love to Explore and Observe?

If you never get lost, then you probably love to Explore!

When I first arrived in Sevilla, I spent many days, map in hand, wandering. Going wherever, stopping and having a drink or a tapa while I people watched.

I still love doing this!

Another ways I love to spend time alone is to people watch and once a month go to a historic site or a museum.

Exploring is something I still do often. I don’t ever get tired of making the time to see all the beautiful and different sites in this country and the nearby counties.

5) Got Patience?

Practicing patience has given me sanity in Spain.

Spanish people work, walk, eat, socialize and drive at a different pace than what I was accustomed to in the US. I was patience before I got here, but I have learned a whole new level!

Another gift of practicing patience… Is it reduces stress! The stress level I had living in the US has almost disappeared.  I feel the difference in my mood, my health and in my relationships.  I am present and a better listener and I have finally learned to practice patience with myself!

6) Do You Trusting your Instincts and Trusting the Help from Others?

I say these together because you MUST trust your instincts when interacting with anyone for any reason in an unfamiliar country.

Especially trust your instincts with anyone who offers you help.

If you don’t feel comfortable, trust that feeling and move on. Who cares the reason you feel uncomfortable, especially when you first arrive.

There is time to feel comfortable. Give yourself time to understand the culture, body language and never doubt yourself.

AND MORE… There are times when YOU WILL need peoples’ help! I am not talking about a situation where you will need the help of an officer or medical care professional. For those times dial the emergency number of your country, in Spain, it is #112, or you can find the closest public store or building.

In other casual cases, you may need a hand with finding an apartment, reading the rental document, or getting directions involving them offering to show you how to get there; by the way, this is very Spanish.

These situations will arise.

International FB PAGES, and Expat sites can be helpful for many of these questions, or you can start more locally by asking a store clerk. As you live in a place longer, you meet people, and they can help you.

Cultural LESSON LEARNED: Most people in Spain are very helpful. It is their culture. If you do not accept their help, you might be insulting them. My American nature always assumes favors have costs. Here it ‘s expected to help without expectation. I have learned to accept their help… and I now have much more intimate relationships with my new Spanish friends.

7) Do You Prepare for the Worst, but more Importantly NOT have the attitude of Expecting it?

ANOTHER SHORT STORY: I had all my important shit in my purse having come from the airport. A new friend asked me to meet her at a shoe store. While I was not looking, all of my credit cards, passport, and money was snatched from my bag.

What I Learned was, I could have prepared better for my passport, credit cards, and wallet being stolen.

By preparation, I mean that it would have been helpful to know more about the procedures to replace them. Or have copies of all of them in another location. That would have been smarter and less stressful.

I feel very strongly about not living my life in fear or in “WHAT IF?” When I travel, I act like I am in any large American City: wise, aware but comfortable. I see many big eyed tourists walking the streets, keeping their distance and looking worried. I wonder how much fun they are having. They haven’t even engaged with the locals because they are so fearful other than to eat or make a purchase?

So Now You Are Finally Ready To Go!!!

BOTTOM LINE: Be honest with yourself and what is important to you. You will learn a lot about yourself living abroad.  But the things you really feel deeply will probably not change.

Before I made the big decision to move to another country, I spent hours journaling and dreaming with the information I gathered from books, websites, and blogs. I want to share what I have learned with you. You Can Learn More about how I did this in the Dream Adventure Membership.

The idea of moving to another country starts as a playful dream; you know the kind of dream that puts a smile on your face. But to do it you have to be able to overcome small fears and habitual reactions that will only serve to drive you crazy and make you unhappy in a different culture.

Dream big by researching then make the right choice for you.

Kathy

XXOO