Guest Post: The Daunting Idea Of Change
I’m sure that a majority of people reading this post will have thought about changing their lives at one stage. And perhaps that stage has lasted longer than expected, a few months, years, or what feels like a constant thought in the back of your mind?
I have a long-time-big-time love of Spain, trying to sneak a visit whenever I made the near 40 hour trip from Australia to Europe since I was in my early 20’s. I finally committed to spending two months here last year, to be immersed in the culture and learn the language. The primary motivator was opportunity. After a long-term relationship break-up, and reaching a point in my career where I was looking for a shift, I found the time to dip a toe in the water (of a very big ocean!).
In short, I loved it, discovered a visa I could apply for, and made a personal commitment to change. I returned to Australia to make arrangements and now, for the period of my visa and any future extensions I may apply for, I live in Sevilla, Spain.
Change is daunting. Logistically and emotionally packing up my life, saying (a temporary?) farewell to the people I loved, and things that made sense in my day, these were some of the most difficult decisions I’ve had to make and then the hardest things to actually do.
I’d already left a 10 year relationship, why was I leaving everything else that was not only my safety net but provided a reflection of myself that I understood? Am I a complete stark, raving lunatic?!
We all need inspiration. While considering this change, I read an interview with the talented and thoughtful Pia Jane Bijkerk*, an Australian blogger who moved to Amsterdam to live, via Paris (collecting her now partner along the way). She believes that we all have a special dream that sits on a shelf, like a shiny, prized object, at a safe distance where we can keep it pristine and free from the dirty fingerprints of reality. The brave few convert this dream into their day-to-day, risking scratches and bumps in its perfection, but in turn making space on the shelf again.
Fear is normal. Do still I wonder what I’m doing here when I can’t conduct a simple conversation with a bank clerk or the guy who sells fruit in my local corner store? (can you hear my audible groan?) Of course.
What does my future hold? I know that in 2012 I will be living in Sevilla studying. Do I worry about finding work once I finish or the impact on my career if I return to Australia after time-out of my industry? Do I consider how I would feel leaving Sevilla, or reconnecting with my pre-Spanish life at home? Of course.
But I have to trust my intuition, my ability to make a change, perseverance in exploring and enjoying a change that is, no doubt, having a profound influence on my future, my understanding of myself and what I want from life.
There is a quote from Tim Burton that may resonate with you: ‘I always felt like a foreigner from the beginning of life so when I actually became one, I felt more at home’**.
(Guest Post by Gina Bowman, an Australian currently living the Madrid Lifestyle.)
Quotes
*Pia Jane Bijkerk interview in Dumbo Feather: http://dumbofeather.com/
** Tim Burton, taken from a blog by Azahar Sevilla http://azahar-sevilla.com/blog/about-2/ , an interesting woman who moved from Canada to Spain 20 years ago and writes several blogs about Sevilla where she is based.
A Random Collection of Inspiration:
An Intelligent Life, A Practical Guide to Relationships, Intimacy and Self-Esteem, Julian Short
Azahar Sevilla: http://azahar-sevilla.com/blog/about-2/
Dumbo Feather: http://dumbofeather.com/
Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert (OK, I have some personal reservations about recommending this book, but in section 3 India, Thirty-Six Tales about the Pursuit of Devotion Gilbert goes through a fascinating personal journey imparting her learnings about eastern religion
Pia Jane Bijkerk:
http://blog.piajanebijkerk.com/WordPress/2010/01/13/dumbo-feather-pass-it-on-issue-22/
Road Testing Happiness, How to be Happier (No Matter What), Sophie Scott
The Heart That Wanders, Pia Jane Bijkerk
The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell
Travels, Collected Writings, 1950-93, Paul Bowles