Book Review: In Our Prime.
Review by Debbie Sullivan Instagram @stillsofmyworld
Image; Unsplashed by Ryan Stefan
“In Our Prime, How Older Women Are Reinventing the Road Ahead,” written by Susan J. Douglas, is better suited as text for a women’s studies curriculum rather than leisure reading, but the time is here to educate ourselves on the women’s movement, the challenges we continue to face as women, especially as women of a certain age. Douglas’s anecdotal personal references are scattered throughout, but overall this is a book with thought provoking material.
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Age does matter! (experience, self awareness)
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Age is irrelevant! (cross generational power, unity)
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Aging cannot be defied! (the birth of cosmeceuticals)
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Aspirational Aging, the antithesis of feminism (patriarchy prevails)
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Anti-aging is actually AGEIST (divisive; understand the politics)
“An important part of social change is shifting public perceptions with images.” (p. 143). It is absolutely about looks. What we see in the news, in media, in marketing ads, in the mirror. Pictures are powerful. As a visual person, this totally resonated with me. Doesn’t matter if you’re 18 or 81 – patriarchal definitions of women will only change if women demand it. What are deemed age-positive images of older women bombard us. Active, vibrant, fit, well-coifed, flawless complexioned faces grab us in print, TV, and pharm ads. Female celebrities of a certain age, breaking into historically male dominated professions. Of course we find hope and aspire to be strong, fearless and powerful like them. But Douglas highlights the sad reality; even these images essentially reinforce status quo youth-centric standards; and they are certainly not inclusive. Note that a majority are white, upper-middle-class (another issue, but not one addressed in this book, other than a nod). This is aspirational aging, a false positive if you will, leading us to the birth of cosmeceuticals – those beauty products parading as magical medical agents of time travel. Anti-aging creams. Botox. Fillers. Supplements to help defog and detox your aging brain so you can regain youthful focus and brainpower. A cry for ageless femininity. Hate me or hear me: aging happens TO us biologically. You cannot defy or deny aging; to do so is illogical. Anti- aging products are the modern-day scam. What’s that? You want the outside to match the youthful inside you? If it makes you feel better about yourself, what’s the harm? It’s a personal choice that should be honored. Isn’t that what ‘living your best life and being authentically you’ is all about?
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How many bottles of age-defiance have you bought because celebrity X seductively looks you in the eye and says, ‘because you’re worth it’? This is what Douglas calls the “anti-aging industrial complex” at work. Anti- aging and aspirational aging work against us and actually play into dividing women into young and old, those who do and those who don’t – ageism at its best. And yes, I’ve been caught up in it too, and I actually hate myself for my naivete.
How would socially promoted visuals change if instead of thinking about yourself aging (something ugly is happening to you, and you need to stop it), you saw yourself as being in your prime and coming of age (embracing, fluidly moving into the next time period)? Would you still be futilely spending energy and money fighting off wrinkles and graying hair, denying those parts of you(!) you determine as old? You know the saying, “money talks”? When we women spend millions of dollars buying into the hype of aspirational aging, holding onto the lure of youthful beauty ideals, we are merely filling the pockets of the beauty and pharm industries. Even worse, the existence of these industries targets the older demographic, further reinforcing attaining youthful vitality as the way to age gracefully.
“It’s time not for a personal makeover but a cultural one…we need to take on a culture that primarily worships and rewards youthful femininity…we learn that while youthful femininity doesn’t last forever, strong womanhood does.” (p. 21) Coming of age is traditionally associated with growing into adulthood.
But coming of age in a broader sense is entering a new stage of life facing new challenges and opportunities. Coming of age is a social movement – women across generations challenging the status quo together. This is where politics and government affect every woman throughout her lifetime, and why it’s critical that we stand with a united stance. Healthcare isn’t the only issue. Reproductive rights aren’t the only healthcare issue. Equality in the workplace goes beyond equal pay for equal work. Women outlive men statistically, requiring financial security longer than men. Yet they are more likely to have less financial security over their lifetime. Women give birth. Predominantly women leave the workforce to raise children. Women lose those years of work time equating to lost earnings in retirement years. Social Security in the U.S. is self-funded, meaning during your lifetime of working, you pay into the fund. In turn, your benefits are based on averaging your 35 highest years of annual income. If women’s income is still less than men, even less due to leaving the workforce (at likely the beginning of their earnings peak), you see what happens to financial security in later years?
Single/widowed older women are impacted even harder. This is just one example. Douglas presents additional scenarios that should make us pause and scream for reform; the U.S. government’s frivolous military spending compared to the crumbs thrown at human services funding, many which impact more women than men. The political landscape uses male-centric data (yes, it’s a thing) supporting policies that affect women negatively.
Not all countries are so hard on their women. Gender budgeting, taking into account funding based on gender differences, is already happening in Austria, Belgium, Finland, Iceland, Israel, Japan, Korea, Mexico, Netherlands, Norway, Spain and Sweden. (p. 196-197).
The time is now to seize the opportunity and stop aspiring for agelessness wrapped in false youthfulness. Social change requires rejection of traditional mindsets. The future is not based in beauty, it is based in brain power and we are perfectly poised to pave the way for generations yet to come of age!
Thank you so much
Review by Debbie Sullivan Instagram @stillsofmyworld
